her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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