y did u give ur computer a hand job?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
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