If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
