So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
She announced her abortion via fbk
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
