He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
