At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
