East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
