my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
