Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
