Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
