Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I CAN MOONWALK!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
