Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
