The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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