Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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