It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize