you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
