i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
