Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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