did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
im holly from the hills drunk
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
