Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
