I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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