I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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