Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
