so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
