He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
