i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
