Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
