you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
