maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
me + whiskey = a bad person
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
