Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
