I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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