How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
