i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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