the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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