he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
