He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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