He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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