The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
