people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
