I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
