New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
