the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
