You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
