Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
