my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
