I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize