I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
