i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
