There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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