I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
