Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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