dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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