He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
